In February 2009, I entered the mission field with my husband Vincent. Unlike Vincent who had spent some years in Thailand before and was fluent in the language, I was a complete newbie. Back then I was a newlywed with illusions of marital bliss.
Since I was 19, I knew God had called me to missions. I also knew that I would never be fulfilled living a life apart from His calling. The Lord graciously opened doors for me through the years to gain experience in a mission agency as well as on different short-term mission assignments.When I joined COSBT, again the Lord provided me with a position with the mission department and then sent me out to Khon Kaen, Thailand. At first I assumed that my adjustment to Thailand would take only a short time. I had gone on a few short-term trips to Thailand and had spent a semester in university studying the language. Little did I know what I was headed for!I still remembered our arrival in Khon Kaen. We were warmly received by the local AG church pastor and his wife who were kind enough to put us up in the church. We ended up lodging in a spare room for two weeks. That first night, the pastor threw a welcome BBQ party for us -- we had grilled pork neck and fresh leaves for dinner. This was the beginning of my cultural adjustment to Thailand.In my first weeks in Khon Kaen it was like living in another universe; time flowed differently from Singapore. Nothing I ever studied for or went through prepared me for THIS! I felt like I was surrounded by unintelligible words and undecipherable behavior. No one spoke English and I could not communicate with anyone. Two days after our arrival, I could take it no longer and I went to cry it out in “our” room.I struggled with the “backwardness” of the city and its dismal lack of amenities. When we first arrived in Khon Kaen there were only two small shopping malls. The fact that Khon Kaen was the commercial hub of the Northeastern region (known as Issan) held little charm for me. The city was mostly dusty and grey; it had the air of an industrial town and was surrounded by nondescript double-storey buildings.I was plunged into a time of culture shock, which turned into depression. I mourned the loss of my identity as I knew it. I struggled with the loss of my independence, my social circle, and even the ability to communicate and to string together simple sentences. I became frustrated at my lack of language skills and I blamed my leaders, including my spouse for failing to prepare me beforehand. I clammed up completely before the locals and imagined everyone to be mocking at my inability to speak Thai.The fact that Vincent and I were newlyweds did not make things easier. We had a lot of miscommunication, which thankfully never escalated into major eruptions. I constantly struggled with his ministry as it sometimes took him away from me or demanded sacrifices from us.However God was faithful to preserve me while I was going through all the cultural adjustment. Even when I felt I was the last person to be of any use, He used me to start up a women’s cell group in the church, teach English at the university and shepherd a Youth English cell group.Two years on, I can now look back and say that my first years in the field were a painful but necessary time. When I was going through it, none of it made any sense to me. God used that time to break me down -- I learnt to die to self and to see things from another perspective. It was only then did I start to enjoy living in Khon Kaen.In retrospect I learnt some lessons from those first years in Thailand. They are:
- Protect your devotion time with God: As simple as this may sound, our time with God is a basic discipline we cannot do without. Yet it is always the first thing to come under attack when we meet with spiritual opposition. I spent a few months without praying when I was under a lot of stress in Khon Kaen. Similarly I have heard of ministers who go for long months without prayer when they are depressed or down. We need to recognize this and be vigilant always in guarding our time with the Lord.
- Find some local friends: This can be anyone from a church member, a neighbour or even your local food stall seller. These new friends will help you get through your days and speed up your cultural adjustment. Most importantly these are the friendships that will sustain you when friends at home stop keeping up with your life on the field.
- Keep going: Do whatever it takes to keep moving forward, even if it seems like you are inching slowly or just maintaining your momentum. Take up a new hobby. Establish a routine. Find a quiet spot or a favorite café you can unwind to. Or even set up a new support group on the internet.
- Talk to experienced missionaries: Spend time to learn from them because these are the people who’ve survived, who know what it’s like to be marooned in a foreign culture and prevailed against it. I met an Australian missionary who advised me to “either get on or get out. After all if you can’t survive, you can’t minister!”
- Find your satisfaction/fulfillment: Some people find their satisfaction earlier than others. My satisfaction only clicked into place last November when I met our Chinese friends in our new Chinese cell ministry. They were the ones for whom I counted it worthwhile leaving Singapore and staying in Thailand for!
2010 saw my first ever mission trip. I was psyched up after hearing so many stories and the many wonders of God. I took up the roles in the skit team and also as the designated videographer for the trip.
Even before the trip, I had already begun learning -- spiritually and socially. This was all necessary for the trip to be a success. This mission trip opened my eyes to the spiritual and material riches that we already possess, but much taken for granted.
I saw the yearning of the people in China, how they hungered for the Word, how they generously given the little that they had. I saw how much they desired & fed upon the limited access of the Word, how they loved each other, how they loved God. They had expressed their love for God through their actions, their willingness to serve, instead of shallow lip-service.
"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms." 1 Peter 4:10
No matter how little your talents, God will use and multiply it, if you are willing.
Initially, I was hesitant to go for this mission trip. For someone who has recently received Jesus, I wasn't confident of sharing the gospel with others, and was also warming up to my cell group, thinking that I could be out of place.
My cell group, however, assured me that I will be greatly blessed during the trip. I never understood it until I was there to experience the amazing work of God unfold before my eyes. There were several experiences that our group encountered and we could all feel that God’s presence was very real. God is a loving God and He protects and provides for His children in all circumstances.
On one particular occasion, we really felt the Lord’s protection during a perilous ride down the mountain. More than 20 of us were squeezed together at the back of the lorry, standing up and clinging on to one another for our dear lives, as there was not enough space for everyone to sit. While fear was on our minds, we did not succumb but instead sang songs of worship. I could feel the peace as I looked up into the sky and really resonated with something that my cell group leader said: “God was smiling at us from up above when we sang songs of worship to Him.”
During this trip, I realised that I am very fortunate to have access to Bibles and study aids in Singapore. This isn't so in China, particularly for the rural minority tribes. Though resources are scarce for them, their desire to know and to read the Word is more enthusiastic.
I was moved knowing that many of them travelled long distances to fellowship and to seek the Word of God. Witnessing this desire within them made me recognise that I could do much more.
I received abundantly during this mission trip and learned about complete faith in the Lord in all things. Only by faith will we accomplish great works in the Lord!
